whenyouneedme | INBOX

[ He might have been busy! He had a boyfriend!

But Kyoko wasn't too surprised that he arrived quickly. She'd sat on her bed the whole time, looking down at her hands folded in her lap, and she answered him with a ready mmhm when he did arrive.

But once he was through her door and she looked up at him, she had to pause, uncertain. Her mouth opened, and closed. ]

... I guess... I was kind of a pain today.

[He had been going to lead in with how, like, she could have just come knock on the door or come pull him out of the living room or something. Seeing her sitting on the bed like that made him reconsider though, his own mouth shutting a little comically.

He sighed instead, quietly shutting the door behind him.]

... Sorta, but so was I.

[ Hey, this was her trying not to make a scene. ]

You weren't. [ Her frown deepened a little as she met his eyes, a bit of that sharpness from earlier glinting again. ] But you were a worry.

[It had just seemed a little silly at first to send a text when he was Right There, but it was making more sense now. It was time for scolding.]

Sounds like a pain to me.

[He moved over to plop himself down on the floor near her.]

Let's talk then.

[ What, hey, don't just sit on the floor and make her loom over you. Kyoko frowned some more, but slid down to his level, so she could face him properly. ]

... Jeez. We all went this long without trying that sake, and then you suddenly think of it today.

[Oh. Hello. Kai huffed out an almost laugh.]

Mmhm. Forgot we even had it for anything else. [Before it was confirmed that it wasn't meant for anything else besides cooking anyway.]

Drinks came up and Cliff made a jokey request. Things went from there.

A joke. [ There's no real reason not to believe that--at least, that it started out that way. However. ] And can you explain to me what the direction that things went from there was, exactly? When you brought it up to me, it didn't sound like a joke at all, you know.

'Cuz it wasn't. [He didn't have any intentions of keeping anything from Kyoko then, so he wasn't about to start now.]

He asked for a beer when I asked if he wanted anything to drink, we brought up all the other stuff we had, then I remembered about the sake. Figured hey, let's have a little adventure and find out if it's cooking grade or not. We all make a dumb face and then I shove some calpico at him and see what happens.

[ Kyoko's brow creased a little deeper as she heard him out. He made it all sound lighthearted and silly, but--if they'd actually had beer, would Kaito have gone along with that request, then? And, more to the point-- ]

You say that, but what would have happened if it wasn't cooking grade? If nobody makes any dumb faces, all you've done is introduce him to something he definitely can't have more of anyway. [ Her eyes narrowed. ] Right?

[Kai's mouth thinned a little. This was what had set up all the tension in the first place. First with Shinji, then again with her.]

If you're already thinking I'm going to sneak around your back, you should just say that.

[ Oh--Kyoko had to duck her head, so the hurt in her eyes wouldn't show. Down in her lap, her hands clenched into fists. ]

... Someone who meant to sneak around wouldn't have mentioned it so casually in the first place. [ It would be a lie to say she didn't have any fears of that, as much as she hated herself for the thought. But that truly wasn't her most pressing worry right now. Kyoko pulled in a breath, and made herself look up at Kaito again. ] What I am thinking is that you just don't see any problem at all with giving alcohol to someone that young. Was that not what you meant when you said Cliff already drinks and you started young too?

[Well, at least he'd been clear enough about that one thing. It made it easier to listen to what other concerns she had without starting up tense and defensive. Honestly, if her thoughts were off in the direction they seemed like they were going, they were valid concerns to have. He met her look with a thoughtful frown.]

No, it wasn't. Sometimes kids start early. Simple as that. I'm not saying its good. Sometimes its for real shit reasons. But if it already happened, it already happened.

[ There, that's getting closer. Kyoko pulls in another breath and goes on more evenly, trying to ignore the twisting in her gut because wow this sucks. ]

I know it happens. [ She says it softly--it's not the focus, but she needs him to know she's not asking him for a crash course on delinquency here. She's still trying to get to the heart of the problem. ] But just because it already happened doesn't mean it's fine to keep it going--you know? [ There's a bit of a genuine pleading note, there. ] If it had turned out to be good drinking sake, and he wanted more, what were you thinking would happen after that? What were you thinking before I said no? That's what I want to make sure I understand.

I'm sure he's got more than enough people already telling him he needs to cut it out. It sounds like he's got good people back home.

[But home was far away from here. Cliff didn't have those people here, he just had a city full of strangers asking him to jump headfirst out of his comfort zone. Kai gave a little shake of his head, looking at Kyoko intently. He was going to stand by this.]

I figured if he wants a buzz, wouldn't here be the safest place? Let him loosen up a little somewhere where we can make sure he's ok, I could get him wherever he wanted to go, stuff like that. If he wants it bad enough, he's gonna find a way to find something. I'd rather he feel okay having a little here where I can keep an eye on him than him off coping alone with whatever he'd have gotten himself into, y'know?

[ Though Kyoko softened more as she listened, her frown didn't leave, concern only creasing her brow all over again. ]

Kaito... this isn't like home, though. It's not like there are conbinis selling it here, or vending machines. I'm pretty sure it's just the bar and Affurgato? [ Her frown deepens a little more, frustrated. ] Besides, I'm not saying you had to give him a--a mom spiel. It would have been as simple as not mentioning the sake at all, and moving the conversation on. It's not like he was gonna walk out if he couldn't have anything, right?

[He leaned over a little to nudge his shoulder against hers. Just a little, a small apology for the mom spiel thing.]

Pretty sure he was almost gonna walk out even when he could.

[He sighed, reaching up to rub his hand across his neck.]

Look, I'm not like... trying to enable a problem. If I thought that's what was up I wouldn't have offered anything. It's just... telling him that it's okay to be who he is in the most basic way possible. You gotta trust 'em first.

[ The nudge went unreturned this time, Kyoko only looking more glum. ]

If he was gonna walk out, it was because of me. Sorry. [ It's not like she couldn't tell at all. ] But there's no way drinking is the most basic part of who Cliff is. And since we're not giving him liquor whether we have any or not, he's gonna have to have some other reason to visit.

[ She's also kinda skeptical that there's no problem to enable here, given how easily Cliff had gotten defensive about how he knew better than to get wasted with strangers--but it's hard to make an argument on that front when Kaito clearly knows him better. ]

[Kai couldn't really say that he knew Cliff all that well yet, but some of the things he had picked up struck deeply familiar chords. They were wildly different, but that overlap was enough to made Kai step back and pause.]

Of course it's not the basic part. I just mean I'm not gonna to give him hell just 'cuz he likes drinking with his friends, or whatever rebel teenage thing he had going on. Doing something like that shouldn't get you written off as a lost cause. One drink barely happened and everyone just concluded that the worst was going to happen.

[He drew in a breath, but continued in a lower murmur.] It's when people assume the worst of you over and over again, even when you haven't done anything, that you just give up. If you don't have a place to turn to, you go where you can't bother anyone.

[ Is that what he thought this was? Some urge to turn up her nose and shun bad habits like the boring good girl he knew she was? Kyoko had to look down again for a moment, but her eyes were still burning when she turned them back on Kaito. ]

No! Like I was saying, it's not like I want you to scold him! But unless you mean he came here to drink, offering that at all was completely unnecessary! I was the one who made everything a mess, but--[ She almost vibrated, voice cracking a bit. ]--of course I was gonna say something!

[Kai's brows furrowed, jaw tightening at the sound in her voice. He hadn't wanted to hurt her back. He didn't want to get mad either, knowing it was all just because she cared so much. But...

Kai was quiet for a few moments, slowly working his jaw loose again.]

Course you were. [Softly, without any accusations. That part was expected.]

It was a bad move, I can own that. I just thought people might have trusted me for once.

[ Oh.

Kyoko's head dipped again, shoulders drawing in, but this time she didn't look back up. It was quiet for a moment, before her voice came out, very small. ]

I'm sorry.

[ Doubting him even a little had torn her up, a sharp pain in her chest that twinged fiercely again with fresh guilt. ]

[He didn't know if that made him feel better or worse. He didn't know what he was supposed to say either. She was probably totally in the right, and something like this was just inevitable. If it wasn't tonight, it was just a matter of time.

She wasn't looking at him, and he wasn't looking at her, but his hand still found its way to give her hair a soft ruffle.]

[ Her eyes closed when his hand found her hair, and there was a soft hitch of breath, but she still didn't look up yet. It was another moment or two before her voice piped up again--still small, but in a way that was meant for him to hear, not trying to hide itself away. ]

... I... used to go along with all sorts of things without question, just because it was what the person I loved wanted. It didn't matter if that meant breaking rules or lying, or sacrificing myself, or even if what he wanted went against his own good. I've been really scared, you know--of turning into that kind of idiot again. But--

[ Her eyes were still closed, but they squeezed tighter. ]

But doubting you... I never want to do that either.

[... Those struck a lot of familiar chords too.]

I mean... I'd still doubt me. I'm a big enough idiot for both of us, I don't think I'm gonna give you a chance to even try. We're gonna disagree, and that's fine. I'm gonna do something stupid, and that's... well, it's stupid.

But I'm not gonna lie to you. Whatever dumb decisions I make, I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to people I care about. I promise you that.

[ Listening to Kaito, something in her chest eased a little, while something else swelled at the same time. Kyoko nodded slightly, and found she could open her eyes again as she shifted a bit to let her shoulder brush against his. Her gaze was still trained downward, but her voice relaxed into a more normal sort of hushed tone. ]

Mm. And I... even if I don't understand you, or rush in and get mad... it won't be because I don't believe in you. As many times as you can stand explaining to me, I'll listen. It's a promise.

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