whenyouneedme | INBOX

[ Is that what he thought this was? Some urge to turn up her nose and shun bad habits like the boring good girl he knew she was? Kyoko had to look down again for a moment, but her eyes were still burning when she turned them back on Kaito. ]

No! Like I was saying, it's not like I want you to scold him! But unless you mean he came here to drink, offering that at all was completely unnecessary! I was the one who made everything a mess, but--[ She almost vibrated, voice cracking a bit. ]--of course I was gonna say something!

[Kai's brows furrowed, jaw tightening at the sound in her voice. He hadn't wanted to hurt her back. He didn't want to get mad either, knowing it was all just because she cared so much. But...

Kai was quiet for a few moments, slowly working his jaw loose again.]

Course you were. [Softly, without any accusations. That part was expected.]

It was a bad move, I can own that. I just thought people might have trusted me for once.

[ Oh.

Kyoko's head dipped again, shoulders drawing in, but this time she didn't look back up. It was quiet for a moment, before her voice came out, very small. ]

I'm sorry.

[ Doubting him even a little had torn her up, a sharp pain in her chest that twinged fiercely again with fresh guilt. ]

[He didn't know if that made him feel better or worse. He didn't know what he was supposed to say either. She was probably totally in the right, and something like this was just inevitable. If it wasn't tonight, it was just a matter of time.

She wasn't looking at him, and he wasn't looking at her, but his hand still found its way to give her hair a soft ruffle.]

[ Her eyes closed when his hand found her hair, and there was a soft hitch of breath, but she still didn't look up yet. It was another moment or two before her voice piped up again--still small, but in a way that was meant for him to hear, not trying to hide itself away. ]

... I... used to go along with all sorts of things without question, just because it was what the person I loved wanted. It didn't matter if that meant breaking rules or lying, or sacrificing myself, or even if what he wanted went against his own good. I've been really scared, you know--of turning into that kind of idiot again. But--

[ Her eyes were still closed, but they squeezed tighter. ]

But doubting you... I never want to do that either.

[... Those struck a lot of familiar chords too.]

I mean... I'd still doubt me. I'm a big enough idiot for both of us, I don't think I'm gonna give you a chance to even try. We're gonna disagree, and that's fine. I'm gonna do something stupid, and that's... well, it's stupid.

But I'm not gonna lie to you. Whatever dumb decisions I make, I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to people I care about. I promise you that.

[ Listening to Kaito, something in her chest eased a little, while something else swelled at the same time. Kyoko nodded slightly, and found she could open her eyes again as she shifted a bit to let her shoulder brush against his. Her gaze was still trained downward, but her voice relaxed into a more normal sort of hushed tone. ]

Mm. And I... even if I don't understand you, or rush in and get mad... it won't be because I don't believe in you. As many times as you can stand explaining to me, I'll listen. It's a promise.

... I can work with that.

[Kai leaned against her a little more.]

I know you weren't like... trying to be the fun police or whatever. You were just looking out for him too.

[ Kyoko nodded, and looked up, tentative but with a gentle earnestness. ]

And... I didn't think you meant any harm. [ Doubting his judgement didn't feel good, though. ] But, you know, even back home there are lots of adults who don't really think much about young kids drinking, as long as they don't make a ruckus. And I... just didn't know what was in your head at all. I guess we kinda... never talked about thing kind of thing before now.

Mmmhm.

[That was pretty true. For a lot of folks it wasn't their problem, so it was whatever, right? He looked over at her.]

Guess it never came up, huh. Haven't had a lot of reasons to get into trouble lately.

[ And even among those who did care in some capacity, there was often a kind of indulgent attitude about it all. Okami-san surely hadn't thought anything very bad would happen when she gave Kyoko that sake, on that night she couldn't stop crying after the LME audition. ]

You weren't trying to get into trouble this time either. [ She said it to be sure he knew that she knew. ] It's... kinda my fault, for not thinking to bring it up before now, if I was gonna have such a loud opinion about it.

[He gave her a small curve of a smile. He knew.]

Mmm, well, I never gave you a reason to think about it. [Was more what he had meant this time. It'd taken this long for them to even think about the sake, and Kai had never gone to the bar for the purposes of drinking anything. What a dry time it had been.]

Never liked it all that much, to be honest.

[ That little smile did a lot of heavy lifting to ease most of the remaining weight on her heart. Kyoko could finally let herself lean naturally against him, the tension in her shoulders easing. ]

I kinda didn't think you were interested at all. I don't think I even wondered if you'd ever had any... But now that I think about it, maybe it's one of the topics new couples are supposed to cover.

[That in turn let Kai settle in a bit more. They'd already been well past the point where things could have gone in a wildly different direction-- his bruised heart could forgive most stings-- but that extra ease of tension was relieving.]

Maybe?? [Did regular couples have... lists of things to cover??? Watch him transform from (mostly) confident rogue to Boy Who Knows Nothing right before her eyes.]

Um... I guess... Is there any other, uh, topic? You'd be worried about?

Ah. [ Boy Who Knows Nothing, meet Girl Who Knows Even Less. ] I've never dated anyone before you, so I don't know...

[ There was a tiny start, though, as something did occur to her--but then she wasn't sure how to ask. ]

Um... This is a little bit tangential, but actually... Have you told anyone besides Cliff about...

[ Pink staining her cheeks, she looked down towards where their shoulders met.]
... the situation?

[.......... The situation.

Kai looked down at their shoulders as well, as that would reveal to him the answer he was looking for. Because he suddenly did not know what they were talking about, and that was perhaps reason to panic. What had he told Cliff about? He'd told Cliff about? Something? Something. Something that was making her blush just thinking about it. Something that was a Situation.

The Situation... tangential... to couples... O...h??]

What, that we're dating?

[ Why did he have to think about it so long? Did he forget?? ]

Th-that you're dating not just Shinji, but also me.

[He just didn't think that was something that warranted being labeled as 'the situation'!]

No...? [Pause.] I don't think I've told anyone I'm dating Shinji either.

[Not explicitly by name anyway. There was another pause.]

I don't really talk to people.

Really? [ She'd thought he'd at least want to brag about Shinji a little--but come to think of it, it had been from Shinji himself that Kyoko first heard they were dating. ] I guess you fooled me a little, spreading your social butterfly wings a bit today.

Edited 2021-11-27 04:15 (UTC)

Well, y'know. Gotta let 'im know when hot moms are taken.

[Both of them.]

[ Wow, just gonna murder her all over again, huh. ]

There are no moms here!

[That's his job. He grinned.]

Just attractive people.

But... would you have preferred I didn't say anything about it?

[ Merciless! Kyoko's cheeks flushed darker with the compliment.

The question made her pause though, looking down into her lap, where her folded hands were starting to fidget. ]

... If... Shinji's okay with people knowing, then I guess it's fine. But, if you happen to tell anyone after this, and I'm not there to witness it, could you maybe... just... let me know?

[That wasn't very convincing, Kyoko.]

Sure, but I could easily just... not say anything if its gonna make you uncomfortable for people to know. S'fine.

[ There was another pause, as Kyoko debated that, and considered her words. ]

I... don't think I want to be kept a secret or anything, though. [ That would surely feel worse than this tickle of anxious nerves. ] And I don't want to keep you--or you and Shinji--a secret either. But what we have, right now it's still... it feels kinda delicate. [ Like she could break it easily, or like she could break easily. ] If somebody asked me to explain it, I don't know if I'd be able to do it properly, so... I think, for now, I don't want to be surprised by outsiders knowing about us.

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