I don't think there's a point anymore. Just because they're the ones that asked, doesn't mean they're the only ones who think so. Trying to get everyone back on that page is probably impossible.
[.... But that's not right at all. He just slapped his own face and felt the sting, so he knows he's awake. If it's not another installment of his sweet dreams, then that could really only mean that something weird happened again. What spirit had cast such a strong shade over Eiji that the other boy felt compelled to write to Emi about it?
His chest burned with such an earnest hope that he was already starting to feel the weight of grieving disappointment approach. It was already too late to tell himself not to get fooled, but at least... maybe he could curb the damage.]
[It had taken a while for Emi to get back to him with a reply... not that it was surprising. This was probably a lot to consider - and it was very reasonable to assume that some magic might have turned his mind. Hopefully this would ease that suspicion.]
Yes, I'm fine. Nothing unusual has happened today either. I'm writing with a sound mind.
[Getting it over with was the better decision, seeing as Emi's focus on literally anything else had been entirely shot to shit. He'd pace around, reread that Key Point of the exchange, and then pace around with even more intensity. At some point an intervention was staged when Mr. Bo shoved Emi out from the bar because all that pacing with such a brooding expression was just bad news.
He shouldn't have kept reading it but he kept reading it. Over and over as he screamed to the internal heavens.
[Around 15 minutes later, Eiji arrived at the Boar's Nest, looking... well, completely normal. Every bit his distant, sharp, analytical self. He felt a little uneasy, but that was typical of Change. At the very least, he could still be assured that his logic held merit, and that reassured him enough to go through with it. Emi would understand. He'd see it from his point of view.
His eyes traveled to the bar first, where the blond would normally be working, but he wasn't there. Um? Thankfully, Mr. Bo was kind enough to point him to the table where Emi was taking his break.
Okay. Not that... he was nervous, but deep breaths anyway. Calmly, he walked over and pulled up a seat for himself across from Emi.]
[They had been some of the most tortuous minutes of his life.
When Emi registered that he was no longer alone with his thoughts he glanced up. His gaze was so much sharper than normal, golds intensely probing and searching the other boy in front of him for anything that might have seemed out of place. If this was another case of magic fiddling, someone was going to be very, very sorry that they had fiddled. He'd had more than enough of that, thank you.
... It didn't stop his expression from softening somewhat as Emi watched him though, with tentative curiosity. It still felt too much to dare to hope but... This! This was the problem!!]
[Eiji folded his hands across the tables, fingers twisting in conflicted knots. He had his explanation all neatly lined up, but... but somehow getting the words to actually form on his tongue was proving a little trickier. For a moment, his gaze lowered, falling to the table.
This felt incredibly silly. And yet, its necessity spurred him to continue.
Come on, Eiji, You could be impartial about this, even about this. With a small click of his tongue, he dragged his eyes back up to meet Emi's, ever composed.]
I've been deliberating this for a while, and after assessing our current state of affairs, I came to the conclusion that a romantic relationship has the potential to benefit both of us better than our current positions.
Obviously, I know... your feelings in regards to me. Saying that your morale would improve is pretty much a no brainer, but so would your overall well-being and performance. And as I have a vested interest in all these things, naturally I'd favour this outcome.
But, on the matter of my feelings... On a purely empirical level, I can say with certainty that I can't match the depths of what you feel. However, this fact alone isn't grounds for disqualifying the consideration for a relationship. At least, that's what I think now.
[In a moment of entirely inappropriate reactions, Emi slipped into a soft round of laughter.
This was... ridiculous. Ridiculous and so, so Eiji. The moment he had mentioned how a romantic relationship could benefit the both of their positions, the heavy weight of worry had lifted from his shoulders. This was the boy he loved with the sound mind he proclaimed.]
Here I was, worried someone slipped you more chocolates.
[But they hadn't. Which meant that this was. Exactly what Eiji said it was. This was a day that Emi had simply assumed would never happen happening. Emi leaned forward a bit on his seat, resting his hands just near Eiji's. His expression had grown immeasurably soft, fondness touching every corner.
There was still a tick of hesitation rooted in his thoughts however, because as much as this was some bizarre miracle defying everything he thought would happen, there were still details he couldn't ignore. The whispers of his own-self doubt were ever present, and with all the evidence of care that Emi had watched build up for someone else over the past few months...]
I think you're right? Depths don't need to match, Eiji, we're not in a care-a-lot competition. But are you... [Emi paused, a fidgety tap on the table as he worked through the hesitation.]
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they asked you?
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Nonetheless, this is the state of things
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[But also what is the point of bringing this up...? Obviously nothing good, especially considering how much Eiji preferred avoiding attention.]
Sorry about that.
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I don't think there's a point anymore. Just because they're the ones that asked, doesn't mean they're the only ones who think so. Trying to get everyone back on that page is probably impossible.
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?? What should I do then
[Since he was the Problem.]
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After weighing the options, I think we should just be a couple
please hold
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His chest burned with such an earnest hope that he was already starting to feel the weight of grieving disappointment approach. It was already too late to tell himself not to get fooled, but at least... maybe he could curb the damage.]
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Yes, I'm fine. Nothing unusual has happened today either. I'm writing with a sound mind.
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can we talk about this after work
[NOT MORE THAN 10 SECONDS LATER:]
no wait nevermind i'll take a longer break
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It's fine. I'll come by the Boar's Nest. I'm already finished my shift anyway.
[SO NOW WAS JUST HORRIBLE WAITING UNTIL EIJI GOT THERE.]
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He shouldn't have kept reading it but he kept reading it. Over and over as he screamed to the internal heavens.
And waited.]
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His eyes traveled to the bar first, where the blond would normally be working, but he wasn't there. Um? Thankfully, Mr. Bo was kind enough to point him to the table where Emi was taking his break.
Okay. Not that... he was nervous, but deep breaths anyway. Calmly, he walked over and pulled up a seat for himself across from Emi.]
...I suppose you'd like an explanation.
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When Emi registered that he was no longer alone with his thoughts he glanced up. His gaze was so much sharper than normal, golds intensely probing and searching the other boy in front of him for anything that might have seemed out of place. If this was another case of magic fiddling, someone was going to be very, very sorry that they had fiddled. He'd had more than enough of that, thank you.
... It didn't stop his expression from softening somewhat as Emi watched him though,
with tentative curiosity. It still felt too much to dare to hope but... This! This was the problem!!]
Hey.
That'd... I'd like that, please.
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This felt incredibly silly. And yet, its necessity spurred him to continue.
Come on, Eiji, You could be impartial about this, even about this. With a small click of his tongue, he dragged his eyes back up to meet Emi's, ever composed.]
I've been deliberating this for a while, and after assessing our current state of affairs, I came to the conclusion that a romantic relationship has the potential to benefit both of us better than our current positions.
Obviously, I know... your feelings in regards to me. Saying that your morale would improve is pretty much a no brainer, but so would your overall well-being and performance. And as I have a vested interest in all these things, naturally I'd favour this outcome.
But, on the matter of my feelings... On a purely empirical level, I can say with certainty that I can't match the depths of what you feel. However, this fact alone isn't grounds for disqualifying the consideration for a relationship. At least, that's what I think now.
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This was... ridiculous. Ridiculous and so, so Eiji. The moment he had mentioned how a romantic relationship could benefit the both of their positions, the heavy weight of worry had lifted from his shoulders. This was the boy he loved with the sound mind he proclaimed.]
Here I was, worried someone slipped you more chocolates.
[But they hadn't. Which meant that this was. Exactly what Eiji said it was. This was a day that Emi had simply assumed would never happen happening. Emi leaned forward a bit on his seat, resting his hands just near Eiji's. His expression had grown immeasurably soft, fondness touching every corner.
There was still a tick of hesitation rooted in his thoughts however, because as much as this was some bizarre miracle defying everything he thought would happen, there were still details he couldn't ignore. The whispers of his own-self doubt were ever present, and with all the evidence of care that Emi had watched build up for someone else over the past few months...]
I think you're right? Depths don't need to match, Eiji, we're not in a care-a-lot competition. But are you... [Emi paused, a fidgety tap on the table as he worked through the hesitation.]
... are you sure you're alright with me?
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ughhghhhhh im the worst
shhhhh
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