whenyouneedme | (no subject)

Chou didn't even say "oh," out loud, just let out a very soft exhale. She looked down into the water, thoughtful.

So that was it. It made sense immediately. Even more than anything Chou had had to deal with, that kind of thing was sure to turn people against you, no matter how young and innocent you were. How old was Emi when everyone found out, she wondered.

"That's a pretty stupid thing to make a fuss about, though," she said after a moment. "It's not like rotten people never come from parents with good reputations."

It was true, of course. It was incredibly stupid, the standards people were held to were all backwards. It was one thing to say it though. Doing anything about it was seemingly impossible. It was too late for him anyway.

Emi shrugged. "It is what it is. They just got the better cards."

She couldn't deny the truth in that. Whether you believed in karma or not, it was a fact that some people were born with better lots.

It was a lonely thing to think about. "But what you said before isn't true, you know? You definitely have friends. I was your friend before I even knew it."

Edited 2017-05-28 21:04 (UTC)

"It kind of blows my mind," Emi admitted quietly. "That anyone wants anything to do with me."

All it took was a change of scenery. Of course, he knew that. It could have been easy to change things around, if he'd just left. Whether or not it would have made him any happier, Emi couldn't say. And if he had gone, then Eiji would have...

"I should have come to talk to you, I just..." Emi gave an almost helpless shrug of his shoulders. He finally glanced back over at her, something shy and fragile there.

He just hadn't known what to do.

There was a tightness in her chest. That was not a surprising thing to hear from him. None of this really was, which was the worst part of it all. It should be surprising that someone like Emi, someone so much kinder, more steadfast and straightforward than herself, should be so resigned to closed doors.

She looked up to meet his eyes with a tight smile. "Like I told you, there's no way I'd expect you to do that. The one who gets hurt shouldn't have to be the one extending an olive branch. I was definitely gonna come to you, no matter what."

"But..."

When he had no one, it hadn't felt like it mattered if he had anyone around or not. If his singular friend told him to back off, he would. That was what he would have expected, that's why had hadn't gone after her already. That's just what he knew. Now that he actually had to count the friends that he had, didn't that mean that things were different? Didn't that mean they weren't the way he knew anymore?

"... You mean a lot to me, Chou, so I shouldn't have just... accepted that."

Her shoulders gave the slightest jerk back, eyelashes fluttering in surprise. What was she supposed to do when he said something like that?

"Well... that..." Her voice started out half-strangled with emotion, but softened as she lowered it, bashful. "... That makes me happy." She couldn't help it. "But--but I mean it, don't act like anything was your fault. It wasn't your responsibility to fix things. You have to expect more from me!"

After a moment of quiet, a small smile worked its way to Emi's lips. It was more reminiscent of the tentative gestures he'd offered when he'd first began to let her in.

"I'll try to hold you to that from now on," he said with a soft huff of laughter. There was still something muted about it as Emi turned his eyes back to the water. Knowing he'd made her happy made him happy, but it didn't change the root of the problem. "This is just... How I am."

He folded his fingers together, mimicking other motions he'd seen time and time again. "I'm glad I came here."

Chou was peering at him sidelong, not wanting to stare him down, but also unwilling to look away for long. The small motions of his hands drew her attention, and she wondered--should she? Would it be the right thing, to touch him? He looked so fragile. What if she did too much, and made him clam up?

She wasn't sure what to say to that last thing, really. After turning the words over in her head, all she could come out with was quiet frankness. "I... was pretty stupid when I made my wish. I've thought lots of times, I shouldn't have done it. But, if I keep thinking about... it was completely necessary, for things like meeting you."

The gut reactions were entirely at odds with one another. His fingers tightened around each other just slightly, disbelief tainting the pressure there. There was nothing necessary about meeting him. But his head dipped, his face blooming with color at her words.

Completely unnecessary, Eiji would have said. Emi might have agreed, but it still felt good to hear.

"Being impulsive can have its perks." Tentatively, he leaned over to nudge her shoulder with his, giving her a shy sidelong look. "Thanks, Chou. For finding me."

That was a new. Chou turned her head to blink owlishly at Emi, not sure how to respond to shoulder nudges--oh, she should just nudge back, right? But a few moments had already passed and all she could do was smile, all warm and dumb. Would that be enough to convey how glad she was to have this, how much less lonely she was with Emi around?

Still smiling--she could hardly stop, now--Chou shook her head. "I only wandered in uninvited, and you humored me."

Smiling was more than enough to convey everything. It reaffirmed everything he already knew about coming here was the best thing he could have done-- the only other people that had smiled in his presence back in Japan were Eiji and his little sister. Having this now after so long was nothing short of amazing.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."